This blog was inspired by the many parents that would love to irritate their children just as much as their children irritate them. I may just turn this into a series since I have had experience from new born to your just too old for that temper tantrum. Of course I mean the infamous loud mouth preteen/teenager. You almost can’t tell the difference between the terrible twos, the troublesome threes, and the elusive teenager. Maybe it’s one in the same except that one can articulate their lack of appreciation much better than a two year old. Now let’s keep in mind this series will be just for laughs although I have done most of these things. Our first discussion on irritating your child is to agree with outrageous demands. I do not mean go out and buy them a new BMW. I mean agree to something you know they won’t really do.
So you have a teenager that’s tired of living by your rules and demands you let them move out. This usually happens around the age of fifteen maybe sixteen. Are you tired of every unreasonable tantrum ending in "I’m moving out!" Why get upset? Why not simply agree? Imagine the look on their face when you reply, "Ok what is your move date? How about three months from now?" If your child doesn’t have a job pull out your phone and begin filling out job applications right before their eyes. Then say, "Oh you will need a job do you prefer fast food, telemarketing, or retail?" Then make sure to set up an appointment to go look at apartments. Don’t back down now parents hold that poker face, because this is where the fun begins.
Allow your teen to select the apartments they want to look at no matter how pricey it is. That sounds crazy, I know. Once you get to that $1,800.00 dollar a month studio in the hills casually let your teen know you will not be helping with the rent or the deposit, because since they want to live like an adult they need to work and pay bills like an adult. Also act excited and make silly comments such as, "I can’t wait until I get to live without your big mouth." How about, "Wow, now I won’t see your dirty draws all over the bathroom." Or better yet. "The house will be so peaceful without all your nonsense arguments." Then watch as the blood drains out of their face. If you really want to annoy the crap out of your teen suggest they find a roommate, and giggle as they look at you like your crazy.
Now let some time elapse and don’t mention the apartment or moving out. Just wait until the next time they pull an argument out of their butt, and strike. You ask, “When did you say you were moving, next week? What about your job? I forgot, give me your Chromebook so I can take it back to the school and drop you out." No matter how they argue just tell them to hurry, because you would like to get them dropped out promptly so they can go to work." Most will stop arguing and disappear. Let me warn you though this only works on spoiled kids. If your kid isn’t spoiled they may just take you up on your offer, but is that really a bad thing? Have a great day, and don’t forget to shop Cyrof!!